Bagger and I are finally over our hangovers from Las Vegas, so here goes the SHOT Show 2014 recap, in totally random order:
- Have you partied with Rob Pincus? Because we have. Here’s a lesson we learned: Keep a bottle of Pedialyte on the nightstand for the morning after, and make sure you have a full stomach before you meet up with his crew. If you have access to a couple of bags of IV fluid that’s even better.
- The show is too damn big. I know I sound like a whining “Caleb Giddings” right now, but there is just too much to see, too many people, and too much ground to cover. Imagine you’re at the Glock booth and you want to get to the STI booth. You first have to orient yourself, then wade through hundreds of booths with AR-15 gear, a dozen airsoft booths, a handful of booths with Turkish CZ knock-offs, and maybe a booth with an old Italian guy who makes million dollar custom shotguns. It’s like going to the zoo as a child, but to get from the monkey pit to the baby elephant exhibit it’s a 7 mile walk past nothing but clowns who only make balloon animals that look like snakes.
- The booth babe situation is weird. There are often long lines to get autographs from them, which I found shocking. But, I guess creepy dudes want autographs from models sometimes, so what can you do? The worst part is that actual female shooters sometimes get confused for booth babes. Our favorite Volquartsen shooter had a guy say to her, “Go get me a man who can tell me about this pistol” as if the sponsored shooter standing in front of him somehow didn’t know much about her own competition gun.
- FateofDestinee made her crew wear matching purple shirts with gray suit pants and vests. They looked like waiters from a 1980s Miami wedding.
- Media day is easily the best part. Somehow we accidentally got invited to the exclusive morning session, which is like getting a surprise bump to 1st class on a flight from NYC to Paris. Here is what the morning session is like: Imagine all the free ammo you can shoot with all the new toys you’ve always wanted to play with, and you can tell the company reps to their faces whether or not you like what they brought, not that they listen (Hi Glock!).
- Food. The main reason to go to Las Vegas is to eat. Sure, it’s a gambling town, but in my experience gambling is like paying out the nose to watch shiny lights and colorful cards flash by while getting drunk with some dude who acts like your new best friend, and who is so into emulating Jerry Lee Lewis that he married his own 14 year old cousin. I’d rather eat. What follows are the pictures I was sober enough to take of the food we ate. These are totally out of order because when I took them I was either drunk, or time traveling, or both.
- Gun stuff. We saw and shot the new Glocks, and they were ok. Don’t get me wrong – I’m sure they will sell well, but if I were designing two new Glocks, one would be a single stack 9mm, and the other would be a .22 pistol built on a Glock 17 frame. But what do I know, other than I wouldn’t have designed and produced two new guns that no one ever asked for.
- More gun stuff. Here is just a friendly suggestion for many of the exhibitors: You don’t HAVE to have a display at SHOT Show. I mean, let’s say you’re one of a couple thousand companies that makes AR-15 stuff, and you haven’t had a new product in years. Maybe just stay home? I’m just thinking out loud here, but it seems like there are plenty of companies that have been trying to get booths – unsuccessfully – for years. Perhaps you could save some money and give them your spot? Maybe you could partner with another company and alternate years to display at SHOT? These are just ideas, I’m sure the business geniuses at the AR-15 companies of the world will figure it out.
- Tactical Timmies. SHOT is rife with these guys. I can’t tell you how many times some out-of-shape dude wearing camo pants and a Maxpedition bag told me not to take his picture, as if I was eager to have his greasy sideburn in the background of my shot of an expensive Italian “racegun” with a horrible trigger. “I don’t want to be in any pictures!” Then don’t attend trade shows full of media, dummy, or your secret agent cover might get blown and people will realize you’re not just a fluffer at Enterprise Rent-A-Car.
- These rolling crates. People walk around with basically a milk crate on wheels, clogging up the aisles and getting in everyone’s way. I have a plan for next year – I’m going to bring dental dams and drop them into all of these stupid crates. Try explaining to your buddies why you have a dental dam in your crate, or wear a backpack like a normal person. Your choice.
- Strip clubs. I can honestly say we didn’t actually go to any strip clubs.
- Our sponsors. Still reading? Good, because we have finally arrived at the interesting stuff. Remember how I said there are hundreds of AR-15 companies with nothing new to show? Well one of the ONLY new AR-15 products is the Relia-Bolt from Sharps Rifle Company. Listen – you know how important your bolt is to your rifle’s reliability, so make sure you have the best available, and not some $4 AR bolt from China (yes, that’s a thing – ask Bagger, he found a supplier who wanted to send him a truck load of them). Now here is the fun part: We have two Relia-Bolts to give away. Stay tuned for details.
- More sponsors: Let me be clear. I have not had the best relationship with Rob Pincus in the past. I may have even accidentally cost him $100 at a bar of questionable repute in Vegas. But I’m going to tell you two true things about him: He has the best verbal escalation techniques when talking to cab drivers I’ve ever seen, and his AiR-15 is remarkable. I was a fly on the wall when he was discussing weight-saving options, and he was asking the right questions about reliability, quality of parts, and so on. In other words, they didn’t cheat to get that rifle down to 4lbs 4 oz. We haven’t shot it yet (we’re hoping to get a test rifle soonish), but when we do you can bet we will give you the straight dope. In the meantime everyone else who makes a “lightweight” AR-15 needs to think about whether they can still use that term in light of what is about to hit the market.
Wow. I think that’s everything. We still have more interviews and more videos coming your way, so check back often.